Biblia, the Warrior Librarian Warrior Librarian Weekly: the zine for librarians that defy classification.
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   Issue #227: March 2006

Warrior Librarian Weekly

Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.

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SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION

Locations of visitors to this page

MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...

CONFERENCES: Appearances by A.B. Credaro
MEMO: Fall, 2003.
SLAQ: June 29 & 30, 2004.
ASLA NSW: October 22 & 23, 2004.
CPTL: May 19 & 20, 2005.

ACADEMIA: There are more than 25,000 academic institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...

INTERNET: Google now lists over 400,000 hits for a search on "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...

FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...

... ... No more to read here >>


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POLITICAL COMMENT

George W. Bush Give me library, or give me something else

US President George W. Bush brought the world's attention to the Library Tower, when he referred to it as the "Liberty Tower".

The tallest office building in the United States west of the Mississippi River, it was named Library Tower because of its proximity to the Los Angeles Central Library.

The Presidential Slip caused panic amongst international collectors of library cards, who flooded bandwidth in a race to join up and be issued with a borrower's card ....

No more to read here >>


BUDGETS

 Actor Hugh Grant Libraries seek Grants

In a concerted effort to maintain collection integrity during the current period of exessive financial rationalization, libraries across the country are submitting Grant applications in bulk. Despite the general air of cynicism, many are still optimistic that they may receive a Grant ...

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ADMINISTRATION

Running a race Library board competes for chairs

Three Boston residents say they'll run for the three open library trustee seats this May. Two are incumbents and one is a former trustee who lost reelection last year.

This method of selection was chosen in preference to arm wrestling or the unanimously rejected 'scissors-paper-rock' method of candidate selection ...

No more to read here >>


RESOURCES

Litter tray lined with newspaper Librarian using newspapers in class

For at least one elementary school librarian, frustration has turned to satisfaction, with the success of a new program she began with her students earlier this year.

Tired of mopping up 'little accidents' off the library carpet, this enterprising educationalist now maximizes the use of the resource whilst saving the school considerable costs in carpet shampoo ...

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LITERARY AWARDS

Pultzer Prize Chesbro authors bill

Legislation was introduced at the request of the Humboldt County Board of Supervisors, giving local authorities the power to raise vehicle registration fees to help with the cleanup of abandoned cars.

The document is not expected to be a contender for a Pulitzer, nor should libraries outside the immediate area feel compelled to include the work in their collections ...

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RESEARCH

Sound equipment Reports of sound investment

A study of public libraries in Florida concluded that for every dollar spent on public library funding, $6.54 is returned in the form of economic benefit to the community, said Ken Draves, manager of the Harmony Library branch of the Fort Collins Public Library.

The downtown library has a number of special collections that are all well-used ...

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TIP OF THE MONTH

Coffee drinker Here's one to try at home!

It has been said (at least here) "Let he/she who has never spilled a drink stand and be applauded". Or be accused of being less than honest.

To date, there are no statistics as to what percentage of spillages were the result of trying to look at a wrist watch when holding a drink. Luckily, this mishap will soon be much less of a problem, thanks to the Warrior Librarian Corporate Coffee Drinkers.

Now listen up. Instead of wearing your watch 'face out', rotate it around your wrist so it is under your wrist. Now, when you spill your drink, it will be over someone else and/or equipment, rather than on yourself. A simple strategy. Effective. And at no cost.

Sure, it's not perfect, but then for what you're paying ...

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TECHNOLOGY

Computers in a pile Internet cafe popular

Public libraries are attempting to communicate with teenagers on their own terms by using the Internet.

"With the computer being so much a part of their lives, it only seems obvious to me to connect with them in that way, in that medium," said one teen services supervisor.

In order to establish rapport, libraries will need to set up their technology equipment in the same style as the average teenager's bedroom ...

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HINDSIGHT INSTITUTE

Kofi Annan Astute observations financially unrewarding

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA: February 17 2006. Despite the lack of communication (and funding) from the United Nations, the Hindsite Institute has continued delving into events of global significance for analysis of event cascades that might prevent 'history' repeating itself.

It does not seem to have occurred to other potential financial backers that the UN's complete lack of interest creates a 'golden opportunity' to get in on the ground floor of a unique venture ...

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WLW ORIGINAL LIBRARY HUMOR

MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose

WLW Reader laughing Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 110+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.

However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...

MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
Caution: Will open in new window ...


EDITORIAL SOAPBOX

Biblia, the Warrior Librarian Moving on

If there is one phrase (or for the purists, sentence) that should be struck from the language with any amount of necessary force, it's "this is how we do it here", or any linguistic variation.

It has implications of inflexibility, irrationality, cowardice, lack of vision, and just downright obstinacy. Such a mindset prevents innovation, stiffles creativity, and creates a culture of inertia at the very least.

Having given this matter at least a minimal amount of thought, it seems that the only appropriate punishment for anyone uttering such a sentiment is to make them eat at least 300 pages of policy documents. Further contemplation will undoubtedly produce a more imaginative retributive strategy, but that's the way we do it here ...

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MEMORABLE QUOTES

Loud mouth [Management jargon] is the ground zero of language where the words no longer mean anything at all. Only communist regimes have churned out more jargon than modern business. George Orwell was the first to understand that Soviet jargon was not a jargon like any other, laughable and inoffensive, but a genuine metamorphosis of language triggered by ideology.

Corinne Maier. In Bonjour Paresse, to be published in Australia as Hello laziness: Why hard word doesn't pay.

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BOOK OF THE MONTH


Whole Library Handbook 4th edition George M. Eberhart has done a brilliant job of editing The Whole Library Handbook 4th Edition, for the American Library Association. For the first time ever, the handbook features an extract from Warrior Librarian.

Covering the entire gamut of areas, the book details library types, human resource issues, events, grants, collection development information, operations, details of the 'underserved', promotional activities, technology and issues amongst other matters. But it's on page 368 where attention should be focused.

It is here, covering approximately 45% of the page, that the Warrior Librarian's work has been included. Eberhart states that it was his intention to include works of library-related humor throughout the book. Which admittedly he has done. And done well. Amazing how much valuable content can be contained within a mere 576 pages ...

ISBN 0-8389-0915-0; US$42.00 (US$37.80 ALA members)



DAY JOB BLOG

bad hair day Have decided to become a Goth for a Week, but I now am faced with something of a dilema. Some preliminary research has revealed a number different types of Goth.

I think that anything that involves hot pants is automatically out (thus the Raver Goth is eliminated). Mopey Goth sort of sounds philosophically compatible with my own persona, but I can't reconcile the notion of clothes that are simultaneously romantic and modern.

The Perky Goth sounds like a very positive entity, but as it requires a fetish I'm going to have to refer to the Corporate Code of Conduct for guidance. Sure, it's all very well playing at being 'the rebel' but you know that the whole damn catastrophe just doesn't work when you've got mortgage repayments and kids in school.

A Romantic Goth apparently requires an attitude that says " My capacity for love is certainly greater than this mortal coil can bear" - so I've pretty much struck out there before I've even bought the black lipstick.

I just KNEW this wasn't going to be simple ...

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ADMINISTRIVIA

Editor-in-Chief: A.B.Credaro
Sub-Editor: A.B.Credaro
Night Desk: A.B.Credaro
Head of Production: A.B.Credaro
Proof Reading: R. Shakespeare
Webmaster: A.B. Credaro
Layout: A.B. Credaro
Publicity: A.B.Credaro
Catering: D.E.Credaro
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Wardrobe Supervisor: A.B. Credaro

PSEUDO-LEGAL DRIVEL

Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.

Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.

Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory.

All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.



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PAGE LAST UPDATED
March 6, 2006