Fed up with the library email box filling up with spam? Are you angry enough to risk a further avalanche of unwanted messages? Spammers use responses to their pathetic missives to confirm your email address, then onsell it to other spammers. But, wouldn't you, just once (or maybe twice or three times) like to give them a serve back? ...

Dear Dodgey Cruises,

Many thanks for the free cruise.  All 800 of our staff 
are now waiting for our free tickets.  By the way, as we are
a federally funded body, we have copied your email to the 
Federal Bureau of Investigation for their information files.

Yours,

Dear Inaudible.Inc,

We have taken up your offer of the free downloadable 
files, and copied them onto disks to give away to our 
library patrons on the basis of "previews".  Further, 
we have clearly marked your company's name on these disks, 
so that our patrons can assess for themselves the poor quality 
of your company's product.  They will undoubtedly pass this 
information onto their friends and acquaintances.

Glad we could be of assistance,

Dear Hot Wet Babes,

As a public library, we take great pride in ensuring that 
the Internet services provided by us are appropriate,
current, and inoffensive.  We can only thank you for bringing 
your site to our attention, so we can not only filter it out, 
but also pass the URL onto 120,000 other libraries so they can 
do the same.

Many thanks again,