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WARRIOR LIBRARIANS
COMING SOON TO A LIBRARY NEAR YOU
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Graphic by Peter Lewis
Biblia's Guide for Warrior Librarians was released in March, 2003, by Libraries Unlimited. Click here for more information.
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Created and Maintained by
A.B. Credaro
Page Created
April 25, 2003
Updated
May 1, 2003
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LIBRARY INCIDENT REPORTS
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How does your library rate for incidents? Above or below an average public library? The following examples come from a Real Library, over a three month period. The scoring system is the invention of WLW's sick mind.
Note: Some of the incidents listed below occurred more than once. At this time, it is not known if the same person (or persons) was/were responsible for all of these incidents (which happily, for me, at least) occurred more than 10,000 miles from my library. I knew there was some reason for working HERE ...
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| SCORE |
INCIDENT |
| 1
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Dumpster full of non-library trash
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| 2
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Internet time violation
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| 3
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Internet use violation
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| 4
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Eggs thrown at library door
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| 5
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Dog excrement tracked inside
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| 6
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Damage to library materials
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| 7
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Paper towels and toy cars stuffed into men's toilet
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| 8
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Front door smashed overnight
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| 9
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Unattended child - parents' whereabouts unknown
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| 10
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Youth altercation
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| 11
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Telephone patron harassing staff
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| 12
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Inebriated patrons removed by local police department
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| 13
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Individual outside library carrying handgun, PD contacted
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| 14
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Library vacated on PD advice due to nearby PD roadblock and search
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| 20
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Assault on library staff
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The library above scored a total of 83 points for the three month period. After a full 5 minutes of considered analysis, followed by the usual microsecond of knee-jerk reaction, WLW offers the following advice for librarians who have completed an examination of their own incident reports:
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<20 |
Keep your job at this library, until you retire or they close it |
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20 - 50 |
Appreciate where you work, and take the incidents philosophically |
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50 - 80 |
Work on trying to attract a clientel that shares your standards |
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80-100 |
Enrol yourself in a self-defence class. |
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>100 |
Write a book about it. |
A.B.Credaro © 2003
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