warriorlibrarian.com Blog

July 20 is the official date for World Jump Day, where it is planned to drive Planet Earth into a new orbit by getting millions of people to jump at the same time.  This will help stop global warming and create more hours in a day, which is exactly what all library folk need.  (The extra hours, not the climate change.)

Although 11.39.13 GMT is given as the official ‘jump-off’ time, there is a slight flaw in this plan.  The two hemispheres will need to coordinate so that one half of the planet doesn’t counteract the other half.  This is somewhat further complicated by the fact that the planet’s populations are not equally distributed, but surely the organisers have factored these issues into their plan.  Otherwise, it’s just not going to work ..

In the shadow of Australia’s loss to Italy in the (football) World Cup, during the week of national protests against Australia’s ‘new’ Industrial Relations laws,  last night was spent watching the Australian movie, Wolf Creek.

Although conspiracy theorists may detect an interrelationship between the above three events, there really doesn’t seem to be any.  Except maybe for sunspot activity (on which we will be much less well informed due to NASA funding cuts) and the current alignment of the planets …

It’s fast becoming apparent that the prime purpose of the formation of ‘teams’ is based on the fallacy of Safety in Numbers, rather than on any desire to progress or achieve.  Note the number of demarkation disputes, claims of inequity, unhealthy competition (literally) with regard to Morning Tea Rosters.

Maybe it’s about time to get back to the good old Every Man (or Person?) for Himself (or herself).  At least you know who is REALLY on your side …

It’s not an easy thing to balance the air conditioning system across (and through) three levels of a building.  Apparently.  The sound of footsteps has been echoing down from the roof and out of wall cavities here for a while now.  And *something* is happening, temperature and air flow wise.

Sure, it might have been a trifle ’stuffy’ this afternoon, but it is just part of the regulation procedures, I’m sure.  I figured that in the interim, admin might like to provide Drop Down face masks similar to those in air craft for anyone whose eyelids were getting heavy. 

Now here’s the thing, though.  Sounded like a reasonable request to me - but maybe it was something to do with the additional suggestion that I have laughing gas instead of oxygen delivered to my workstation.  Now I’m starting to wonder why people don’t take me seriously?!!!

OK, I admit it.  I’m a blight on society; a festering pustule in the delicate skin of humanity; nay, a villainous onion-eyed skainsmate (the last, curtesy of the Shakespeare Insult Kit).  And now I’ve been caught.  To my everlasting shame, I  (apparently) parked my humble transportation outside my home in a manner described as “not parallel to direction of travel”.  Oh, the shame of it!

It is little consolation that I am not alone in my depravity.  The penalty notice states that this is Infringement Notice 79389540311, so I guess Blacktown’s Parking Police have caught more than 79 billion of my fellow archfiends.  Although, it does strike me as somewhat unfair that only a mere 160 million others have paid their dues, or at least fines, as attested to by the Official Online Receipt Number.

However, the relatively inconsequential amount of $125 could be considered as almost a “libation”, considering what the penalty might have been if I’d been raided by the Housework Police …

This is a true story.  It could happen to you.

Grouchman: Where are my work clothes?

Mother: Hanging up in your cupboard.

Grouchman: Why are they there?

Mother: Well, I was going to throw them on the floor with the rest of your clothes, but there was no room.

A small chunk of yesterday was spent examining the pronunciation of “Eoin” (as in Eoin Colfer, the critically and commercially successful children’s author). An informal survey of a teacher librarian listserv found multiple votes for “Owen” and “Ian”, plus one each for “Wayne” and “Yoan”(to rhyme with Joan). I guess as the group was largely Australian, it was lucky that no-one suggested “Bruce”, which would have really skewed the results.

But possibly the strangest part of the exercise was the accusation that the whole thing was a waste of time. My reply to this was, in part:

“… have you never heard it said that “the journey is the reward”? Actually, since embarking on this quest ‘of no real importance’, I’ve dipped my toes into linguistic profiling, examined the latest ‘trends’ in children’s author websites (Colfer’s is a real beauty!), found out about the upcoming Artemis Fowl movie, and re-established contact with many colleagues where contact had been lost.I figure this wasn’t a bad effort; the achievement of so many non-scheduled outcomes for a relatively small investment of my time and energy. Incidentally, I also emailed on of Colfer’s publishers and asked how Mr Colfer himself prefers his name to be pronounced. So hopefully I will have a definitive answer in due course …”

So the ‘research report’ on Italian cities was presented - together with the required ‘opinion’ which concluded with “I would defiantly go to this country“. And, knowing the student as I do, I really believe she’d go with exactly that attitude …

According to Utah’s Desert News, the Salt Lake City public library system was named 2006 Library of the Year by a ‘national library journal and a research firm’. The  $10,000 prize will go towards sending some staff to a conference.

Which is pretty nice for them (the honor of the title, and the prize money).  But each of the 6 winners of the Goldman Environmental Awards gets $125,000; the Templeton Prize (for “progress towards research or discoveries about spiritual reality) is worth $1.4 million; even the John Lennon Songwriting Contest pays the winner $20,000.

So who else won $10,000? Fantasy Baseball players, the Harris Poll Online Sweepstakes winner, heck - you can even make $10,000 with a recipe!

Surely the 2006 Library of the Year should be graced with more than this token amount? At the barest minimum, it should have been granted sufficient funding to send ALL of its staff somewhere really nice on a holiday for a few weeks, as WELL as paying the WHOLE amount for the conference.

It’s wonderful that  ‘alt tags’ provide descriptions of graphics to the visually-impaired; and audio files meeting the W3C A.S. are routinely accompanied by transcripts for the hearing-challenged. 

But what is offerred to assist the chronically stupid? (Notably, this *is* the euphemism …)