The following pointers are offered to those seeking to excel in abusing the facilities of the library...

1. Book in by ringing up a minute prior to the lesson.....better still just turn up without any notice at all. There’s nothing like spontaneity!

2. Don’t restrict the students’ individuality by asking them to line up outside the library...just pour in like a horde of Assyrians on the rampage!

3. Don’t bother preparing the students for the assignment by discussing expectations, guidelines etc. Wait until you get into the library to bark a few ill- considered instructions at them over the noise all the other library users are making to get themselves heard. Be deliberately vague about what the aim of the assignment is. For example just tell them to “find something out “ about the chosen topic. Don’t be specific about what you want them to research. Guidelines are so limiting!

4. Don’t keep your class in one area of the library...let them mingle and socialize with /disturb one of your colleagues’ classes. Share your lack of organization!

5. Don’t discuss the assignment beforehand with the Librarian...but demand he drop everything when you arrive and ask him to give an impromptu explanation of the Dewey Decimal system and the meaning of life.

6. Don’t expect your students to use the full splendor of the library’s resources...why bother with the catalogue, periodicals A/V resources,CD-ROMs, online databases, or the Internet - when you can fall back on the 1948 edition of World Book. (Actually that was a joke..I took the 1948 edition off the shelves last week!)

7. Library lessons are excellent opportunities for catching up on local news. Relax with a cup of coffee and the local newspaper....if you can get to it before your students do...after all it’s bound to have a potted biography of Tycho Brahe amid its squalid pages!

8. Don’t inhibit your students’ creativity by expecting them to focus on the task in hand..foster the jelly fish approach to learning...drifting here and there in the hope that some morsel of information will present itself to their voracious thirst for knowledge!

9. Don’t actively supervise your students and don’t be aware of what they’re up to..it’s so much more fun to find out about scratched CD’s and torn pages after the event!

10. Finally wait until after the bell has gone to get the students to pack up, borrow items, tidy their desks etc. Enjoy the harassed look on the librarian’s face as he tries to loan books, ensure items are placed on the return trolley and answer the phone at the same time..no doubt some other malignant soul is on the line with another group of ...er ..”students”!