Government Agencies Protocols
(G.A.P). |
This group would comprise mainly hackers with knowledge of government heirachies, in order to gain access to policy documents (concerning libraries) prior to their release. Simultaneously, they will transfer small amounts of money from multiple government accounts into a Swiss bank. This will fund an annual junket to somewhere really nice for tired, stressed, or burned-out librarians; thereby helping to address the inequities between the librarians' salary and their true value. |
Resource and Information Sharing Knowledgeworkers
(R.I.S.K.) |
We all know that removal of resources from libraries without official "borrowing" occurs regularly, and is an accepted loss at Stocktake. Therefore, to maintain collections without further undue expenditure of skinny library budgets, librarian's will visit each other's libraries and just help themselves - this will fill gaps in collections and create a surplus at stocktake. This SIG will co-ordinate the stocktake times, so that no-one shows a loss. |
Special Collections About Mirth.
(S.C.A.M). |
As working in a library is no laughing matter, it is important the librarians maintain morale - both their own and those of their staff (if they are lucky enough to have any). Therefore this SIG will scour the face of the earth - or at least publishers - for books on library humour. They will be given paid time off work, an expense account, and unlimited time to ensure that all librarians have something to laugh about. The resultant special collection will be accessible to all librarians...if the SCAMmers ever come back. |
Librarians Eager to Get Well Above XML
(L.E.G.W.A.X.) |
Electronic publishing frontiers are always pushing the boundaries of reasonable learning curves. Just as we get a good handle on HTML, the standard is about to change to XML. With web-based subject support from libraries rapidly augmenting the print collection, librarians are just going to have to develop their own mark-up language, which should be developed in conjunction with the cataloguers of the Library of Congress. Being entirely incomprehensible to anyone but librarians, we should be comfortable for quite a few years, while everyone else tries to work it out. I haven't seen anyone bring out an "AACR2 For Dummies" yet - imagine what Librarians' Markup Language could do for our image. We'd be Internet Gods! |
Teaching Of Terrible Students
T.O.T.S. |
Every library has a hard core of younger folk whose sole purpose for existing is to make the librarian's life sheer hell. This SIG will investigate legal, practical means to either get these kids to conform to reasonable standards, or change districts - if not, planets. |
Rural or Remote TeacherLibrarians
(R.O.R.T.) |
Building on the principle that fear is a powerful motivator, librarians in areas classified as either rural or remote will publish details of the discomforts, disasters and ding-a-lings that they endure. Snakes in libraries, evacuations for fire/flood/plague, waiting for 3 months for a computer repair, etc are suitable topics. The SIG will co-ordinate publication, and ensure national news coverage at least in the gutter press. Politicians, fearing an outcry from the populous, will immediately boost funds for these libraries. (Like, yeah...right....) |
DistanceLearning Online Help
(D.O.H.) |
In recognition of the need for support for distance students, this SIG will construct websites, issue print guides, travel vast distances to present workshops, give up holiday time, and produce audiovisual material to ensure that students studying by remote mode are able to plug their computer into a power socket before pushing the On button. |
