Search this site
Site Map
Humour Index
Librarian's Diversions
Librarianship Journals
Fun Stuff
Controversy Corner
Archived Feedback
Recommended Links
Created and Maintained by
A.B. Credaro
April 16, 2002
|
LIBRARY VIRUSES
Genghis Khan Virus
Area of Infection: |
Usually well-behaved children. |
Characteristics: |
Will cause wild behaviour, loud noise and damage. |
Propagation: |
Prior failure to suppress infected individuals. |
Solution: |
Isolate infected individuals outside the library. |
Bermuda Triange.bk
Area of Infection: |
Overdue books. |
Characteristics: |
Will delete books from shelves after overdue notices have been issued. The defaulter will swear blind the book has been returned, but intense searching will fail to find any trace of the item. |
Propagation: |
Word of Mouth |
Solution: |
Use InvoiceForLostBook.doc |
MessyShelf.exe
Area of Infection: |
Heavily used areas of the collection |
Characteristics: |
Books will be constantly shelved backwards, upside down, on wrong shelves, misused, and damaged. |
Propagation: |
Popular topics, or local students with same project. |
Solution: |
Reshelving.roster |
Truant Trojan
Area of Infection: |
Homework defaulters, detention skippers, students at risk. |
Characteristics: |
Students often arrive with Forged.doc, or have various excuses, hang around in unsupervisable locations, and usually produce little if any work. |
Propagation: |
Faulty communication procedures. |
Solution: |
Use Detention.txt or CleanUP.chit |
Bad Boot Sector
Area of Infection: |
Around library entrance. |
Characteristics: |
Dirty carpet. The lighter the color of the carpet, the greater the damage. |
Propagation: |
Wet weather, mud outside library. |
Solution: |
Use Door.mat or CarpetProtector.strip |
Bad Day Worm
Area of Infection: |
Tired and burnt-out library staff. |
Characteristics: |
Will make important documents disappear, generate multiple simultaneous requests for the impossible, irate patron confrontations, computer failures, budget cut threats. |
Propogation: |
Library staff work overload. |
Solution: |
Use the Home key. |
|