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August 10, 2002
Top Tips for Libraries
|Learn how to use the essential elements for success and happiness in libraries, and how to arrange your workplace for the best possible outcomes.
The 5 elements of traditional Feng Shui are present in every library:
1. Although running water brings luck, it also makes the books soggy. Never overdo the water thing.
- Earth (dust, dirt, grime)
- Wood (paper, shelves, building components)
- Metal, (digital resources, wiring and electricity)
- Water (damp, mould, mildew), and
- Fire (rarely, we hope - but just go with the flow here)
2. The universal career corner is the north corner of the office. Protect it with the power of metal; windchimes are recommended. Their incessent tinkling will drive potential job rivals crazy, and thus improve your own career prospects.
3. Avoid having wood products (eg books or paper) in the northern part of your workspace. Allocate this space for computer placement instead - but don't bring any paper-based computer manuals near here. Considering how useless most manuals are anyway, you won't be disadvantaged. Move your printer into a colleague's northern workspace, and let them have the bad luck.
4. Look upwards from where you normally sit. Make sure that there isn't anything above you that might affect your career luck. eg beams, ceiling lines, sharp design patterns, chunks of falling plaster or the Sword of Damocles.
5. Never sit with an open door directly in front of you. Move the circulation desk to the back of the library, in line with two back corners - protecting this position with a major shelving barrier will also protect you.
6. Be careful with what you place on your desk, as these could bring you bad luck. Sharp objects such as operating chain saws should be avoided at all costs. Replace these with symbols of good fortune, like a lottery ticket with next week's winning numbers on it.
7. Clear your workspace of bad energy created by quarrelsome colleagues by burning sandalwood incense. This is particularly effective if they are asmatic.
8. Career luck is influenced by the way in which you sleep. Avoid nodding off during meetings or at your desk - always find a quiet spot at the back of the archives, where you will blend in with graduate students doing research.
9. Mirrors facing doors disturb the balance of energy. Always angle mirrors near doorways so you can see who is coming in - this can save many an umpleasant surprise, particularly if you are reading comics or attending to your personal email on work computers.
10. Activate your recognition good luck, by shining a 1000W floodlight onto yourself at all times. This will bring you to the attention of your library manager, colleagues, and possibly the Department of Mental Health.