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ISSN 1445-9124 THE ZINE FOR LIBRARIANS WHO REFUSE TO BE CLASSIFIED
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Created and Maintained by
A.B. Credaro
July 28, 2002




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NEWS HEADLINES

Left-Wing Biased@560
Right-Wing Biased@560
Depressing (local)@400
Depressing (global)@5,600
Inaccurate (local)@400
Inaccurate (global)@5,600
Violent (local)@400
Violent (global)@5,600
Authoritative@8

REFERENCE

Ask an Amateur@34
Comics & Cartoons@5,700
Flags of Tasmania@1
Plagiarised Humor@1,980,000
Original Humor@16
Libraries without Librarians@0

CAREERS

Jobs you want@2,500
Jobs you'll probably get@1
Jobs you aren't qualified for@249,350,500

FOR STUDENTS

Literature Cribs@35,470
Term papers database@46,340
Science Fair Projects to copy@5,340
Math homework answers@2
Teacher Jokes@478,590
Principal's Home Addresses@32,540

INFORMATION
CONSUMER

COMPUTERS

Expert Level@44,690
Intermediate Level@6
Beginner Level@0
Cheap and Nasty@2,060
Used and Broken@6,450
Good Value@3

DATING

Rich, Attractive@0
Rich, Ugly@98
Plain, Poor@1,450
Losers, General@67,340
Married, but looking@487,320
Interesting, Single & Intelligent@3

GIFTS

Outrageously overpriced@36
Expensive@58
Tasteful@4
Useful@2
Cheap and Nasty@450,350
Used and Broken@892,480
Gifts for In-laws@0

INVESTMENT

Swamp Real Estate@36
Dot.Com Start-ups@587
Venture Opportunities@490
Socially Responsible@2
Fraud@89,483,000
RECREATION

ASTROLOGY

Accurate Predictions@1
Online handwriting analysis@8
Send surplus cash here@598
FBI Database of Known Frauds@2
Seers' Database of FBI agents@2

FOOD AND DRINK

Alcoholics Anonymous@4
Weight Loss Support Groups@560,000
Genetically Obliterated Foods@45
Interpreting Additive Codes@10
Food Substitutes@8

HOBBIES

Toenail Clipping Collectors@3
Nosehair Growth Society@7
Empty Bottle Storage@2
Recyled Meditative Mantras@4
Conspiracy Theorists@458,890

INTERNET

Streaming for broadband@56
Streaming for 56K dialup@14
Streaming for you@768,430
Illegal downloads@1,450,000
Unstable Sites@2,746,000
General Trash@67,478,000

MOVIES

Great films 3,000 miles away @5
Trash near you@98,000
Releases due in 5 years@200
Desparate studios wanting scripts@56


To correctly cite this page:
Credaro,A.B.(2002). Important Stuff: The Portal. Warrior Librarian Weekly [online]
https://warriorlibrarian.com/LOL/portal.html [Accessed:insert date]