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Biblia's Guide for Warrior Librarians was released in March, 2003, by Libraries Unlimited. Click here for more information.
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BUY THE BOOK!
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WARRIOR LIBRARIANS
COMING SOON TO A LIBRARY NEAR YOU
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Graphic by Peter Lewis
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Created and Maintained by
A.B. Credaro
Page Created
April 25, 2003
Updated
May 1, 2003
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LIBRARY INCIDENT REPORTS
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How does your library rate for incidents? Above or below an average public library? The following examples come from a Real Library, over a three month period. The scoring system is the invention of WLW's sick mind.
Note: Some of the incidents listed below occurred more than once. At this time, it is not known if the same person (or persons) was/were responsible for all of these incidents (which happily, for me, at least) occurred more than 10,000 miles from my library. I knew there was some reason for working HERE ...
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| SCORE |
INCIDENT |
| 1 |
Dumpster full of non-library trash |
| 2 |
Internet time violation |
| 3 |
Internet use violation |
| 4 |
Eggs thrown at library door |
| 5 |
Dog excrement tracked inside |
| 6 |
Damage to library materials |
| 7 |
Paper towels and toy cars stuffed into men's toilet |
| 8 |
Front door smashed overnight |
| 9 |
Unattended child - parents' whereabouts unknown |
| 10 |
Youth altercation |
| 11 |
Telephone patron harassing staff |
| 12 |
Inebriated patrons removed by local police department |
| 13 |
Individual outside library carrying handgun, PD contacted |
| 14 |
Library vacated on PD advice due to nearby PD roadblock and search |
| 20 |
Assault on library staff |
| The library above scored a total of 83 points for the three month period. After a full 5 minutes of considered analysis, followed by the usual microsecond of knee-jerk reaction, WLW offers the following advice for librarians who have completed an examination of their own incident reports: |
| <20 |
Keep your job at this library, until you retire or they close it |
| 20 - 50 |
Appreciate where you work, and take the incidents philosophically |
| 50 - 80 |
Work on trying to attract a clientel that shares your standards |
| 80-100 |
Enrol yourself in a self-defence class. |
| >100 |
Write a book about it. |
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