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ADMINISTRATION (of libraries)
Library administration is often neither an art nor a science - too often it is a case of the blind leading the intimidated.
ASSESSMENT
Although we live in an assessment-driven society, I dont believe that thinking beyond those artificial constructs is harmful. Except possibly in the financial sense.
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BOOKS
There are only two kinds of books in the world: good books and bad books. If you enjoy reading it, then it's a good book.
You can't judge a book by its cover, but it sure helps to give you a good idea of what's inside.
Book blurbs are vital to students - it helps them to knock over a book report in less than 10 minutes.
BOREDOM
I was bored once. I think it was in March, 1962.
BUREAUCRACY
I hope the revolution doesn't come too soon. I have to sort out the priorities of all the people on my list who are currently down to be "first against the wall".
BUDGETS
The library budget is a tool for creating and maintaining the physical entity that is the sum of the parts; the professional staff is the means by which that physical entity becomes an effective instrument in the hands and minds of the learner.
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CHILDREN
coming soon ...
CLICHES
The really good thing about cliches is that everyone understands what you mean.
COMMUNICATION
Communication is a dying form of expression. It's just so much simpler for the people higher up the ladder to bark down the orders, rather than come down their ladder.
[In an email, explaining the use of an epidiascope] If only you could see me waving my arms around and pointing into thin air, Im sure I could make it much clearer.
[On a listserv, responding to an adminstrator directive not to post anything to the list that wouldn't be of interest to the majority of the subscribers] Please send me the email addresses for all of the subscribers, and I'll post to them off-list.
COURAGE
Courage is going to work every day, knowing that those in charge have absolutely no idea what's really happening. The higher up the corporate food chain, the more removed they are from the realities at grass roots level.
CYNICISM
Me? A cynic? Nah. A skeptic perhaps. Cynics don't believe things can change - me, I believe anything is possible. Given enough time, money, support staff, motivation, climate control, a small infusion of intelligence in the current moronic state of affairs ...
COMPUTERS
Computers in libraries are like icing on cake - they add to the whole experience, but just make a sticky mess without a firm foundation.
Considering the increasingly rapid obsolescence of technology, computer theft is a community service.
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DEATH
I just hope that whether I go 'upwards' or 'to the other place', I don't have to do any shelving. Otherwise I might as well stay where I am.
DECISIONS
Sure, I've made the odd decision or two in my life. Often the wrong one ...
DIGNITY
Dignity is highly overrated. Experience has shown that you can achieve just so much more by crying, screaming and laying on the floor kicking than by rationale argument and presentation of documented evidence.
DREAMS
I have a dream that all libraries will one day operate in a nation where they will not be judged by the number of computers, but by the quality of the whole collection.
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EDUCATION
With so many national and state-wide policies stating that one of the purposes of the school library is to support the curriculum, why is it that so many are struggling for resource funding and staffing support? Could it be that someone forgot to take the talk for a walk? I just KNEW there was a reason for that horrible smell.
ENEMIES
Enemies are wonderful things to collect - they keep you humble by disagreeing with you, give you someone to blame when things don't work out.
EXPERIENCE
I'm just not sure how I'll be able to tell when I've had enough experience. At the moment, I seem to be getting a lot of experience - maybe too much.
EXCUSES
I couldn't help myself ... I had a difficult childhood, my parents wouldn't buy me a pony until I was 12. Due to my middle class background, we weren't allowed to live in a cardboard box like all my friends - we lived in a standard house. Despite my pleas to wonder around in second-hand rags, I was forced to wear proper clothes that conformed to some unwritten bourgeoisie dress code, which left me (obviously) scarred for life. At least, that's what I'll be claiming in court ...
EXPERTS
I met an expert once. I knew they were an expert, because they told me. A number of times. I guess they thought I had a short memory.
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FACTS
Facts are becoming increasingly rubbery. There was a time when once a 'fact' was discovered, it was immutable. Nowdays, 'facts' are only true until someone proves otherwise.
FASHION
A passion for fashion leads to a penchant for poverty.
FINANCIAL RELATIONSHIPS
My major financial relationship is with my employer. I've agreed to turn up at work, and they've agreed to pay me. Apparently, I've also agreed to pay taxes to the government, but I don't remember signing a contract for that.
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coming eventually ...
GRATITUDE
All library folk should be grateful that they are employed and have a regular income. Otherwise we might be laying around all day on a sunny beach, reading. Let me rephrase that ...
GENIUS
Genius is its own punishment. It's resented by the dull-witted, challenged by the jealous inept, and manipulated by organizations for their own evil plans.
Show me a genius and I'll show you a manic-depressive. Of course, they may not be the same person.
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HOLLYWOOD
Libraries owe a debt of gratitude to Hollywood. If it wasn't for some movies, then a significant proportion of the population would never have heard of many authors. Now all producers have to do is ensure that ISBNs appear in the credits, along with the author's name and the title of the original book. But in REALLY BIG letters. Or more correctly of course, NUMBERS.
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INJUSTICE
Librarians have not been so much "seared in the flames of withering injustice", as lightly parboiled in the melting pot of bureaucratic ignorance.
INSPIRATION
I had this awesome idea to improve the operation of the library! But then I had to go check some books out, then the phone rang with a reference query; a patron had a minor injury that required a major amount of paperwork. After all that, I forgot what the idea was. But it really was a great one. Isn't it lucky that Benjamin Franklin didn't work in a library?
INTERNET
Playing browser-based games on 'company time' is a professional development activity; it promotes development of keyboarding skills, acts as Diversional Therapy in times of stress, and integrates ICT into work practice. Anyone who says it's just goofing off lacks cognizance of higher order thinking paradigms.
INVENTION
After all this re-invention, won't we end up with a wonderful wheel!
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JUSTICE
If you're looking for justice in a library, try around 345, 363, 364 or 365. You won't find it anywhere else in a library.
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KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT
You cannot 'manage' knowledge, because it remains firmly locked within the human psyche. Facts, whether they are published in some form, or carried by individuals, are another matter. To attempt to organise the human psyche would be like trying to teach a goldfish to fetch a ball.
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LIGHTS
Could the last one out of librarianship please turn off the lights?
LIBRARIANS
A smiling librarian is an awesome sight; it challenges the stereotypes, creates an atmosphere of change, and frightens the heck out of 95% of the borrowers.
LIBRARIES
Libraries are not really about books or information. They are about connecting people to ideas - often against their will.
When the day comes that people no longer need libraries, they will no longer need air.
An empty library is a sad library. But really quiet, plus you can get so much work done!
LITERACY
The last time I dared to raise my head to mention literacy standards, I was ducking flak for a week. Maybe longer. Sometimes I get my battles mixed up.
See also:Ataxia in the Republic of Letters?
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MATH FICTION, MATH HUMOR
The best laughs from Math Fiction come from library budget allocation documents.
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NAIVETY (alt.sp.naïveté)
My blissful naivety was blown away by a rapid succession of Ill Winds.
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OBJECTIVITY
Objectivity itself is subjective, dependent on a self-perception of lack of bias.
OPINIONS
As a citizen, parent, and taxpayer, I consider that my rights to an opinion on educational issues are not annulled by my employment arrangements. Although my employer apparently believes otherwise.
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PASSION
Theres nothing wrong with being "a bit passionate and one-eyed". Much preferable to being bifocal and bland!
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QUIET
If the library is quiet enough, you can actually hear the bookstock ageing.
QUOTATIONS
The effort required to come up with a set of words that will be worthy of endless repetition and plagiarism is rarely worth the trouble.
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READERS, EMERGENT
Is anyone running an in-utero reading program? Or should literacy foundations be laid during conception?
ROAD-KILL
I liked the road-kill in Minnesota - before that, I'd only seen skunks in their native habits in zoos.
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SMELLS
Ever noticed how new libraries smell different to old ones? Many people think this is because of the bookstock. Few people realise that, in fact, the smell in new libraries are pheromones released through anticipation, enthusiasm and exuberance. In old libraries, it's the smell of reality.
SONGS
Few people realise that I know at least some of the words to many, many songs. That's probably why I never get asked to sing.
One day, a library patron will come up to the desk and say "I don't suppose you could sing me the first two lines of ... They should really be teaching this in library school. It's a greatly neglected area of Reference Services.
STUPIDITY
Disraeli has been quoted as saying "to be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge". So how do we get stupid people to take that first step?
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coming eventually ... Talent - Taxes - Teaching - Technology - Television - The Future - The Past - Time - Tolerance - Travel Trees - Trust - Truth
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coming eventually ... Uncertainty
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coming eventually ... Vices - Victory - Violence
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WRITING
Writing, like school librarianship, should not be undertaken for the financial rewards.
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X, Y and Z coming eventually ...
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