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ADMINISTRIVIA

Editor-in-Chief:
A.B.Credaro

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CONFERENCE APPEARANCES BY A.B.CREDARO


M.E.M.O.North Dakota,USA - October, 2003: Confirmed.

S.L.A.Q., Queensland, Australia - June 2004: Invitation accepted.

California, USA - November 2004: Correspondence still continuing (for two years).




Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.

Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.

All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwize stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate should be directed to same.




THIS SPACE HAS BEEN LEFT BLANK FOR YOUR ROUGH NOTES

Late March, 2003: Archived Edition

WLW BREAKING STORIES ... Public libraries accused of providing free information ... Recent survey shows 98% of Tasmanian elementary students can't spell "Saskatchewan" ... Increasing concern expressed about mental illness in libraries .... UK politician Tam (not Tom) Dalyell labelled a serial dissenter due to campaigning for extended operating hours for libraries .............. .

LIBRARY CONFERENCE OUTRAGE
No Books on Display

Conferees at the First Annual Conference of the Website Cataloguers Association of Goriška were horrified to find that there were no books on display during their morning and lunch breaks. Many also complained about the sparcity of free 'promotional' gifts.

 Above: Braving the empty trade display.
Braving the empty trade display.

The conference organizers denied responsibility, claiming that a number of leading digital publishers had been invited to give away web sites in the sample bags issued to the attendees. However, the few responses to this invitation that were received were generally rather snarky. In an official post-conference press conference, the organizers circulated an extensive statement in Slovinian, which roughly translates as: " Give us a break - this is our first conference. "

At this stage, it is uncertain whether or not a second conference will be held at any time in the future. A round table has been convened, with committee heads sitting to examine various aspects of the first conference. A number of standing sub-committees will shortly be formed, with sitting members being asked to stand for the elderly and infirm ...

... There is no more to read >>



HEAVY READING
Pentagon Bookmobile

Sensitive to criticism of overspending in heavy armory and the subsequent neglect of funding for library outreach programs, the Senate has authorised trials of the new Heavy Armoured Book Mobie (HABM).

Above: Heavy Armoured Book Mobile.
Heavy Armoured Book Mobile.

The all-terrain vehicle is capable of delivering up to 20 thousand books a day, and will also provide access to full-text online databases, hard-copy of over 600 journal titles, and a really cheap cafe for people with nothing better to do than sitting around drinking tax-payer subsidised coffee.

Mr Larry Splott has been appointed interim administrator, but further staffing appointments are not expected to be made in the short term. Mr Splott stated that he would be "developing a core staff of casual workers - probably around five or six, as research shows that overstaffing of libraries is the leading cause of global warming." There was no comment from the Pentagon regarding funding for staffing, although an inside source revealed that the general concensus was that most government officials believed that libraries were inhabited by book fairies and elves who did all the work when no-one was looking ...

... There is no more to read >>



APPLIED LIBRARY SCIENCE
Cutting Culls in Half

At a loss for disposal of culled resources? Reluctant to hold book sales, knowing that some well-meaning turkey will eventually come across deleted stock and return it to you - expecting high praise and thanks? Worried that trashing, burning or burial of worn-out, obsolete, or inappropriate material will result in cries of outrage from people who have run out of other causes to support?

 Recycled books made into a bookshelf
Above: Recycled books made into a bookshelf.

Jim Rosenau believes he may have the solution. By chopping books up and cleverly disguising them as something else, he may have inadvertantly also solved the Library Challenge of the Millenium. If library borrowers don't know which pieces of furniture are books, and which aren't, then they may very well not be able to steal them. And there's no point in cutting them up, as they have been pre-vandalised.

This could lead to a whole new aspect of librarianship - Sanctioned Removal. By painting trash bags so they look like a lumpy stack of books, patrons would be encouraged to perform a valuable community service, without ever knowing it. At least, not the first time ...

... There is no more to read >>



WHERE'S THE BOOK?
Printing commenced
Biblia's Guide to Warrrior Librarianship Production: The book is now at the printing stage, but no firm date yet available for release ... but 'promised' for March 2003 ...

Preview: The front and back covers are available here, at no cost. You'll only have to buy the bits in between, but you'll also get a hard copy of these covers, gratis.

... There is no more to read >>


STREAMING MEDIA
Save time and money
Are you fed up and worn out by user education sessions that don't seem to get the point across? Either the people that need them most don't come to scheduled events, or they can't maintain concentration for the required 30 minutes? KFC Library at Harvard may have solved this problem with all of us, with a web-based 1.57 minute streaming video introduction to library use ...

...There is no more to read >>

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION
From the Mailbox
We are just so happy we didn't accept the US$4.6 million from Nigeria - this week we were offered US$9.5 million from Gabon. This is far more money than we need, so if you'd like to go halves with us, send your bank details to . Here's hoping that none of those nasty spam bots pick up his email address from this web page ...

... There is no more to read >>

LATEST HUMOR PAGE
Library Signs Explained
You have to ask, if people can't read (apart from the visually challenged and the very young), what are they doing in the library? We put up signs in pictorial form, but they still don't seem to get it ...
... Check it out >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose.
No, folks, WLW isn't just yet another directory of humor. The Humor Index contains over 90 original humor items, all written by Biblia the Warrior Librarian. Honest. Use the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version still to come ....

MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES
From last month's hit counter:

OPAC Error Messages

Library Songs

Vital Latin Phrases for Librarians

Rejecting the Stereotypes

Collective Nouns for Librarians

Virtual School Library Tour

Last week I wrote that I expect that something really exciting would probably happen this week. Readers will be pleased to hear that I was wrong. Again.
More >>
EDITORIAL
Biblia, the Warrior Librarian
Graphic by Peter Lewis

QUOTE OF THE WEEK
"People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid."

Soren Kierkegaard


BOOKS IN THE HEADLINES
A Florida journalist writes of the amazing treasures that he finds in books, mentioning the man who discovered two Pablo Picasso lithographs in a second-hand book bought at a Friends of the Library sale. Obviously, all the books with rotting apple cores and pieces of used chewing gum had already been sold ...
See News Report >>

PRO-LIBRARY RANT OF THE WEEK
Just a 'concerned citizen', or more of a hero? Librarians internationally should seek out people like this and put them on a pedestal - or at least extend their overdue books for an extra week ...
Punch the air >>

STRANGER THAN FICTION?
Information provided by Weiner Teaneck Library on the construction of their new library in Texas is brief, but fascinating. We just have trouble getting our heads around the architect's name, let alone his modis operandi ...

Over to you >>

WORST REFERENCE QUESTIONS OF THE WEEK
Q: "How many antibiotics have not yet been discovered?" (Grade 5)
(A: Oh, about 20.)

Q: "How independent are women?" (Grade 9)
(A: A lot are, but many aren't.)

Q: "What is YOUR opinion of romanticism in today's society?" ( Undergraduate)
(A: Actually, I quite like it. Thanks for asking.)

...There is no more to read >>

LIBRARY DIVERSION OF THE WEEK
For those who have cleared their cataloging backlog, have everything shelved, all their repairs completed, and are only up to lunchtime - something to fill in the rest of your day. Create an online petition, or sign any one of thousands of existing ones. Look for the one about making comfortable shoes tax deductable for librarians ....

...Free Signup >>

PROFILE OF THE WEEK
Bjørn Christian Tørrissen has written a very helpful guide called Introducing Librarians to the Library. Gee, thanks, Bjørn.

Interestingly, Bjørn spares the casual surfer from the pain of the usual banner farms pretending to be information - going so far as not to include links to ANYTHING on his web page ... ....
...Check it out >>

WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Not that librarians REALLY have any personality defects - at least, not disproportionately to any other profession - but for those who might describe themselves as "an ill-tempered person full of resentment and stubborn notions", curmudgeon-online might be what you've been looking for ...
Sigh >>

WLW ARCHIVES
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PAGE LAST UPDATED
March 14, 2003