|ISSN 1445-9124||THE ZINE FOR LIBRARIANS WHO REFUSE TO BE CLASSIFIED|
Head of Production:
M.E.M.O.North Dakota,USA - October, 2003: Confirmed.
S.L.A.Q., Queensland, Australia - June 2004: Invitation accepted.
California, USA - November 2004: Correspondence still continuing (for two years).
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
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All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwize stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate should be directed to same.
LIBRARIES IN SOCIETY
Return to Family Values
Last week saw the convening of the first international conference of Librarians Who Don't Like Where They Usually Hold Conferences (LWDLWTUHC). Using the original (though not very catchy) theme Libraries for the 21st Century, the conference focused on Family Values.
Being an international conference, most of the ten days was spent informally discussing politics, international trade opportunities, and the outrageous cost of books. The last day was devoted to producing extensive documentation for presentation to their library managers to justify their absence and expenses. One librarian (who preferred not to be identified for tax purposes) stated that " yeah, if we don't take back something pretty thick with graphs and stuff, they mightn't let us come again next year. "
The main challenge was to nominate a 'typical' family that represented the norm in modern society. It was decided that an extended family would represent the need for taking responsibility for elderly relatives; that the family must be well known throughout the world; and most importantly, one that was in no way controversial, political, or would change in any way over time. For these reasons, the philosophies and values of the Adamms Family would be incorporated into the policies of the association ... ...
... There is no more to read >>ETHICS
Librarians globally have been asking should we provide pulp for consumption. Not that they ask this very much, or very often. Actually, it's usually just a question for a course paper at library school. Then you've got to go and do all this research and stuff, then sweat out the wait for grading.
Here in the real world, we know that people want to read this stuff. Like, what else is everyone going to read? Ever had anyone put "War and Peace" on reserve? Ever seen an arguement over borrowing order of any of the classics? Or fights over thick books? (Except for Harry Potter. And then it wasn't a real fight, just some pushing and shoving and name calling. Besides, the blood washed off really easily. Thank goodness for laminated furniture.)
So should librarians actually promote material of limited literary merit? The answer to this can only be found in the course notes, and by covert enquiry into your marker's opinion. Then just give them the answer they want - but take a few pages to do it. For librarians at the Shelf Face, the answer is really academic ...
... There is no more to read >>WLW RESEARCH
The WLW researcher has uncovered what is possibly the most least understood syndrome affecting the general population.
The phenomenon of people looking like their pets is well-known; the mystery is whether the animals are chosen for their close resemblance at purchase/adoption phase, or if the pets come to look like their owners in time. However, the possibility that the owner starts to look like their four-footed (or feathered, furred, finned, or whatever else starts with the unmentionable letter) friend AFTER exposure does not seem to have been closely examined. At least, not by any reputable researcher. That would probably include WLW.
Recently coming to light is the fact that people start adopting the features of the workplace. Notice how accountants start looking like blank paper? Or doctors and nurses actually smell like hospitals? Or politicians sound like thick government documents? Consider the tragic case of Rowan McCarthy, librarian, who turned into a pile of books ...
... There is no more to read >>POSTHUMOUS CELEBRITY INTERVIEW
After an extensive search for a genuine medium, WLW has contracted the services of Madam Betrug. Although somewhat dubious about the authenticity of her references, the WLW accountants gave the go-ahead, based on her hourly rates.
WLW: Mr Burns, thank you for your time.
... There is no more to read >>WHERE'S THE BOOK?
Neil Postman (in "Amusing Ourselves to Death")
Punch the air >>
(A: Apart from being the world's main source of green cheese, it is also used to make tides, help plants to grow, and to give dogs something to howl about at 3am, when the batteries go dead on car alarms. Come back again soon.)
...There is no more to read >>
...Anti-spyware tools >>
Actress Rachel Weisz would like to go on public record as not being a librarian. Following her appearance in a ficticious role in the movies "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns", the actor has been beseiged with requests from librarians for library-related promotions. Also, she is getting fed up with the lines "...I am a librarian" being quoted all over library websites ....