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Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
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When sending an email, remember that including the letters WLW in the subject line increases the chances of your email actually being read.
 MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...
 CONFERENCES: Appearances by A.B. Credaro
MEMO: Fall, 2003.
SLAQ: June 29 & 30, 2004.
ASLA NSW: October 22 & 23, 2004.
CPTL: May 19 & 20, 2005.
 ACADEMIA: There are more than 80 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
 INTERNET: Google now lists over 9,000 for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
 FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
... ... No more to read here >>
Editor-in-Chief:
A.B.Credaro
Sub-Editor:
A.B.Credaro
Night Desk:
A.B.Credaro
Head of Production:
A.B.Credaro
Proof Reading
Webmaster:
A.B. Credaro
Layout:
A.B. Credaro
Publicity:
A.B.Credaro
Catering:
D.E.Credaro
Best Boy:
Y.V. Dubow (Ms)
(Also provides pro bono and ad hoc legal counsel)
Hair Stylist:
A.B. Credaro
Wardrobe Supervisor:
A.B. Credaro
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.
Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory.
All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
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CIRCULATION ADMINISTRATION
Irish solution rejected
 As libraries globally seek innovative and effective strategies for the timely return of their resources, yet another model was proposed and subsequently rejected.
Following the IRA's offer to shoot four of its members after an unauthorized 'hit', one Irish overdue defaulter has offered to 'take out' four other tardy borrowers in lieu of paying his fines ...
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LITERATURE PROMOTION
Charles snubbed, Mary reads
 The mainstream media reporting of the recent visit by Australian-born Princess Mary of Denmark highlighted children's literature, as the princess read Hans Christian Andersen stories to children, replaced a stolen statue of Hans Christian Anderson, and made numerous references to Hans Christian Anderson's upcoming 200th anniversary of his birth.
In stark contrast, the sparse coverage of the visit by British Prince Charles focused mainly on the lack of interest in anything the heir to the English throne did, said or went to.
Buckingham Palace has not commented on rumors that plans for the next royal tour includes visits to at least six libraries, a book signing, and the release of a line of book-related royal merchandise ...
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OCCUPATIONAL SAFETY AND HEALTH
Working conditions may be under threat
 Geophysicists, meteorologists and boffins from almost every conceivable area of science are still assessing the impact of the major earthquake that generated the Boxing Day Tsunami.
The shift in the crustal plates has caused the Earth's rate of rotation to increase, thus shortening the length of a day, according to NASA.
Information scientists are currently awaiting a window of opportunity to explore the implications for library rosters. At this stage, it is not certain whether the 2.68 microseconds will be deducted from meal breaks or work time ...
No more to read here >>
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LITERARY EVENTS
Writers' festival seeks friends
 Although the Sydney Writers' Festival is still months away in May, the organizers are heavily advertising for 'friends', and offering 'four levels of friendship', depending on the size of the monetary contribution.
This year's event is self-reported to feature '200 world-leading literary, social and political writers as well as distinctive new talents from home and abroad [that] will engage an estimated 50,000 visitors at more than 150 events'.
Warrior Librarian draws your attention to the fact that the rumor of possible attendance at the festival by intergalactically-famous retired librarian Nancy Pearl was not started by us ...
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ACQUISITIONS
New deal from Amazon
 In a to several million of his closest friends, founder and CEO of Amazon books Jeff Bezos chatted with the global wired community, casually mentioning a great new deal for Amazon customers.
For a flat fee, Amazon will post your stuff for 'free' (subject to conditions, like you don't live on the other side of the planet). Bezos stated that this would cost the global purveyor of resources a lot of money, but in the interests of customer relations ...
No more to read here >>
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LANGUAGE AND LITERACY
Awards may not accurately reflect views of employers
 The (Australian) Federal Government's announcement of the 2005 Awards to individuals who achieved success in the fields of encouraging/teaching of Literacy Numeracy may have momentarily bought joy to an untold number of library folk, particularly the bit about the five awards of AUD$10,000 each.
Unfortunately the requirement that all prizes won by state government employees (which includes school librarians) in One Particular State that exceed AUD$50 "are usually the property of the Department" of that state's government, as per Section 26.5 of the Code of Conduct, put a major damper on enthusiasm for nominations ...
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LIBRARY ZEITGEIST
Budget ironies
 OCLC is offering templates for advocacy posters, which are customizable for local use.
There is more than a small degree of irony in the fact that in asking for larger budgets, library folk are instructed to modify the generic posters by using pretty expensive software - either Photoshop or Adobe Acrobat (Professional, not the free reader), that many smaller institutions can't afford.
Although a link is offered to the Acrobat free 30 day trial, some libraries may experience rejection if they've already used their 30 free days on other projects, what with Valentine's Day having just passed, and Easter coming up soon ...
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| WLW ORIGINAL LIBRARY HUMOR |
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose
 Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 110+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.
However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...
MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
Caution: Will open in new window ...
PROOF READER'S PICKS:
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 This edition of Warrior Librarian proudly presents its usual range of fiction, friction and faction, to cover if not all - then at least a lot, or maybe quite a few - of personal and professional interests for those in library-related professions.
Whilst every effort has been made to keep tastelessness at a minimum, readers should be aware that although it's a wonderful world, there's also the scummy side of life. All depends on what side of the futon you fall out of in the morning ...
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 With next month being April, and April Fool's Day falling on the universally busy Friday, what better way to perk up disgruntled and whining library patrons than cheering them with an April Fool's joke?
One terrific idea, which admittedly hasn't been tried yet but's sure to be a rapid crowd pleaser, is to leave the "Library Closed" sign on the front door and set up a big party in full view of the locked-out public. Traditionally, you can continue pranks until mid-day. It might be best not to mention Warrior Librarian at any subsequent disciplinary hearing ...
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 The function of geniuses is to furnish cretins with ideas twenty years on.
Louis Aragon
More quotes >>>
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 Exclusively Aussie LitComp
Following their groundbreaking release of the international modern fiction edition of the Booktastic! game, those most excellent dudes subsequently released a Children's Edition of the game.
For many people (J.K. Rowling notwithstanding) two would have been enough. But not for Booktastic; the Australasian Edition is now in preparation. According to the press release, the Australasian Edition will feature questions submitted by actual Australian and New Zealand librarians.
In a competition (ending March 20) that also offers immortality through having a bookshop on the game board named after them, contestants can also win copies of the game ...
No more to read here >>
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WLW Library Time Survey
Following the age-honored journalistic tradition of ripping off ideas from other publications, Warrior Librarian has maintained those fine standards in bringing you the first of the round-layered-vegetable that makes your eyes water when you chop or peel it style of survey presentation ...
Print your own pdf copy (68kb) >>
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Library Secrets
Library Media Connection 23 (4), p 43.
A different type of offering to that which Warrior Librarians might have expected from the creator of Biblia, Library Secrets is actually poetry. With rhythm, rhyme, meter and that cute little abbreviated layout so popular in the pre-postmodern era.
Extolling the virtues of a user-friendly library environment, this piece of probably less than memorable literature also explains many of the facets of A.B. Credaro's career in the libraryscape ...
No more to read here >>
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 Interlibrary loan benefits all stakeholders
The relatively routine ILL between the local public library and the average home library has once more proved its worth. And corporate home libraries such as that at Warrior Librarian Central are similarly enriched. Except you have to give the book back. Eventually.
Jasper Fforde's Well of Lost Plots was the most recent of such ILLs, and followed a collegial recommendation. Although only temporarily in closed stack at the WLW Corporate Library, this was a great read for anyone with an interest in a combination of fiction, language, humor, and the writing process. Unfortunately, it did interfere with the progress of the Pulitzer Project, which is now back on track ...
No more to read here >>
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