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Editor-in-Chief:
A.B.Credaro
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Correspondence to:
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CONFERENCE APPEARANCES BY A.B.CREDARO
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M.E.M.O.North Dakota,USA - October, 2003: Confirmed.
S.L.A.Q., Queensland, Australia - June 2004: Invitation accepted.
California, USA - November 2004: Correspondence still continuing (for two years).
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.
All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwize stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate should be directed to same.
THIS SPACE HAS BEEN LEFT BLANK FOR YOUR ROUGH NOTES
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MARCH 2003: SECOND BONUS EDITION
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ETHICS
Telling the Truth
In a time of political unrest and global concerns, it is refreshing to see that librarians are maintaining their personal and professional standards in ethical behaviour.
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| Children's Librarian |
Glenda Rowntree, Children's Librarian at Spinx Public Library (OH) stated yesterday that she would no longer tell her young patrons that some of the shelves have books facing outwards so they can see the lovely covers, but instead would tell them that the books were put that way to fill up the empty shelves because the library didn't have enough money to buy enough books.
Internationally, librarians from all types of libraries are filing borrowing statistics for pencils, staplers and paper. These have been found to be the "most frequently borrowed titles", with stationery accessioned into the collection, prior to issuing through circulation. Library administrators have been astonished at an apparent increase in library use (based on borrowing rates), up 80% over the previous quarter ... ...
... There is no more to read >>
FURNITURE AND FIXTURES
New Chair Design
Elkington, MA library supplier Drop-Everything-And-Run (DEAR) has released their new range of library furniture. Primarily manufactured to meet the exacting perameters of library budgets, their new range is comfortable, practical and affordable.
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| The Library Hammock |
Advanced testing of the Number 1 item, the Library Hammock, has been completed, and the first libraries to order and install this chair-alternative have provided very positive feedback. Particularly popular with the youth and homeless demographic, the Library Hammock is "just like reading in my bedroom, but without the dirty laundry over the floor", stated one teenager.
Still to be released are the desk-alternatives (previously known as carpet squares), window-alternatives (possibly better known as holes in walls) and shelf-alternatives, which were popular back in 60's squats - utilizing recycled building materials ...
... There is no more to read >>
TECHNICAL SERVICES
Workroom Hazards
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| Can YOU identify the hazards in this library workroom? |
Library unions have issued OSH warnings regarding the hidden dangers that face library workers. Many hazards are well known and documented, and possibly included in policy and procedure manuals (although no-one ever looks at them after you've spent hours writing and re-writing them). However, not all health and safety risks are obvious.
WLW is proud to present the first in a series of checklist posters. Click on the picture to identify the hazards ...
... There is no more to read >>
POSTHUMOUS CELEBRITY INTERVIEW
Groucho Marx
Following the phenominal success of Madam Betrug's contact with George Burns last week, we have again contracted her services to conduct an interview with the legendary Groucho Marx.
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Can this really be Groucho Marx?
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WLW: Mr Marx, thank you for your time.
GM: Well, I was just contemplating my belief in dialectical structure and historical inevitability ...
WLW: Mr Marx, can you tell us about your experience in libraries whilst you were here with us?
GM: It was in libraries that I first found empirical proof that the foundations of reality lay in the material base of economics rather than in the abstract thought of idealistic philosophy ...
WLW: Thank you Mr Marx, but we didn't really want that sort of information. We're paying by the hour for this. What we really want to know is if you have any really funny stories about being in a library, or if you knew any librarians personally or anything?
GM: I did spend a lot of time arguing with librarians about the conditions of modern industrial societies that invariably result in the estrangement of workers from their own labor. They usually threw me out after an hour or so. Is that what you mean by 'funny'?
WLW: No, not really. Warrior Librarian Weekly is a satirical journal for the amusement of people who work in libraries. We get all sorts of weirdos in libraries all the time. We were hoping that you could share your great sense of humor with us - maybe something that our readers would be able to laugh WITH you about, rather than AT you.
GM: That's strange - I never had a reputation for humor before ...
WLW: You are Groucho Marx, aren't you?
Unfortunately, at this point we lost the celestial connection ....
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WHERE'S THE BOOK?
PRE-RELEASE EMINEM-ant
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Where's the book? Released from the printers on March 20 (2003) - now at Customer Services, from there to be sent out to all the usual suspects for review. First print run smaller than originally anticipated, so may be a little difficult to purchase unless you've preordered. Sorry, but it's not like you didn't know about it or anything ...
Preview: The front and back covers are available here, at no cost. You'll only have to buy the bits in between, but you'll also get a hard copy of these covers, gratis.
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SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION
 From the Mailbox
We are just so happy we didn't accept the US$4.6 million from Nigeria - this week we were offered US$9.5 million from Gabon. This is far more money than we need, so if you'd like to go halves with us, send your bank details to . Here's hoping that none of those nasty spam bots pick up his email address from this web page ...
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LATEST HUMOR PAGE
Cite This: Style Guide for Libraries in the Real World
WLW is pleased to present models for citations of information found in a typical library, but omitted from the more widely known style guides ...
... Check it out >>
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MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Laugh yourself comatose.
No, folks, WLW isn't just yet another directory of humor. The Humor Index contains over 90 original humor items, all written by Biblia the Warrior Librarian. Honest. Use the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version still to come .... |
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This is the third week in a row where nothing unusual has happened in my library. Having checked with a number of colleagues in other libraries, it seems that this could be the start of a freakish trend. Or maybe we're just getting immune to weirdness ...
More >>
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The only normal people are the ones you don't know very well.
Joe Ancis
Possibly the strangest library survey on the net, this report details that 3 of the libraries in the study found that the main use for the library was borrowing books, and another library commented that they didn't have enough chairs. At this stage, it is unclear if the paucity of furnishings is in any way connected with the library's purpose ...
Survey Results >>
Nothing unusual in Victorian (Australia) State Librarians striking for more pay, given the pathetic nature of the salary scales. However,why they would want to dress up as Australia's most famous historical criminal remains a mystery. Perhaps they thought that adopting the costume of contemporary villians would have been in poor taste ...
Go figure >>
Historically, the relationship between the cost of reference material has always increased proportionally with the scholarly nature of the work. And the extent of the number of pages in the book. The Times (UK) Higher Education Suppliment has just awarded the title of Britain's Most Succinct Scientist to A. Sturdee of Coventry University, who was able to summarise his work on Cryptosporidium to just seven words. And let's be honest - these days, who wants to read any more than that? So maybe now we can look forward to thinner, cheaper reference material ...
Did the link die? >>
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WEEK'S WORST REFERENCE QUESTION
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Q: "... what extent the problem of TIME -( what is it for us-I mean what processes in our brain deals with it, how it changes in special situations etc.) is studied abroad nowadays. And where."(Grade 12)
(A: You need to read Stephen Hawking's "Brief History of Time", which will explain everything very simply. Happy reading!)
...There is no more to read >>
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LIBRARY DOWNLOAD OF THE WEEK
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Java(TM) Boutique maintains an extensive database of previous "downloads of the week". This week's featured script was last updated 3 weeks ago, but it's difficult to tell if this one's a 'killer app', or just not very well maintained web site ....
...Who knows? >>
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LIBRARIAN PROFILE OF THE WEEK
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Eugenie Prime manages the Hewlett Packard (HP) Labs Research Library and is also responsible for the strategic direction of the library function throughout HP. She has high credibility and seems like she gets invited to deliver a lot of keynote addresses. This librarian probably has an enviable salary and most likely enjoys the full support of her employers. But is she really happy? Our guess is yes ....
...Brief Bio >>
Warrior Librarian Weekly has spent three years building a reputation for promoting communication and international fellowship. We are now proud to link you to Useful French Phrases. It was either this, or the Elvis Jumpsuit Online Database ...
... Sigh >>
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