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Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
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Note: Don't bother leaving the URL of your porn site, your business or company (unless it's library-related) or any other crap - it will be deleted almost immediately.
Readers are invited to submit suggestions for Diversion of the Week, Website of the Week and other column features. Other newsworthy items are also welcomed, especially those accompanied by appropriate, copyright-free graphics. When submitting items, please provide your contact details for verification purposes only. Also clearly state or show how you would like to be acknowledged (or if you wish to remain anonymous).
A.B.Credaro Sub-Editor: A.B.Credaro Night Desk: A.B.Credaro Head of Production: A.B.Credaro Proof Reading Webmaster: A.B. Credaro Layout: A.B. Credaro Publicity: A.B.Credaro Catering: D.E.Credaro Best Boy: Y.V. Dubow (Ms) Hair Stylist: A.B. Credaro Wardrobe Supervisor: A.B. Credaro
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not. Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use. Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory. All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
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OLYMPIC AFTERMATH Library team scores
Although failing to score in open competition, the team picked up accolades for costume design, cooperative planning, and attention to detail - despite a small error in the 886 field. However, when considering the Degree of Difficulty in that particular area, the judges stated that "it was a spectacular attempt in one of the most difficult fields of the sport" ... ...No more to read here >> BEYOND STEREOTYPESHades library confusion
If you can work out the right combination of answers, you might find that rather than being a Reference Librarian, or a Systems Librarian, or the Administrator's Doormat, you are in fact Hell's Librarian. This should not be confused with the Librarian from Hell, which - and let's be honest here - we can all be if it's a really bad day. Only, some of us seem to have more than others. Bad days, that is. Quizella says that "Hell's Librarian knows more about the dark than anyone else, but is not really a part of it, it's just a job to you, an opportunity to learn. Everything's about the next life lesson, but if it's a subject that doesn't tickle your fancy, forget it, you're stubborn with an iron will (you'd have to be). You are smart and sexy!" But you probably already knew that ... ...No more to read here >> COMMUNITY SERVICEUrgent call for blood
In Australia, less than 3% of the population regularly donates blood. It's a relatively painless process, and there is no risk of disease transmission to the donor. Plus, you get free stickers, a cute little Band Aid, and sometimes even a bookmark. Considering that the library profession has so freely given of it's collective sweat and tears, giving blood should be a cake-walk ... ...No more to read here >> LIBRARY PROMOTIONDon't try this @ your home town
What none of those sources of information will provide is a listing of examples of Bad Ideas. Don't kid yourself - no-one is going to publicly acknowledge their stuff-ups. The Profession is quite happy to sit back and let you make a complete fool of yourself by attempting things that have already been proven not to work. However, Warrior Librarian Weekly is proud to pass on an observation - the tight suit in the street parade will not haul in any extra readers. Babies in prams will be confused, young children will be frightened, older children will not be looking at the logo or message, teenagers will think it geeky, adults will ignore you, and the odd crazy-person will end up following you home ... ...No more to read here >> FILM TIE-INS Hollywood takes Biblia's advice
The Warrior Librarian noted in her review that the kid's movie was full of kid's stuff, and "that something should be provided for the adults". Questioned further about the casting of Depp, she stated that "sure, a lot of mums (and librarians) might be middle aged and happily married, but we're not dead" ... ...No more to read here >>
However, the price isn't very attractive. It retails for AUD$66.00 (plus $16.50 postage and handling), with an ALIA member price of $55.00 (plus $16.50 postage and handling). One has to ask why such a high postage and handling fee. You could get it couriered for less - providing you were located in Australia. Intensive interrogation of a small, elderly lady behind the counter at an Australia Post shop front revealed that bubble wrap and an Australia Post-approved packing box would total $4.50, and the postage cost would be $6.00 - leaving a nice little six bucks in profit for the publishers on handling alone. But the biggest turn-off was in the testimonials. "I found the book enthralling", was the comment from the journal, The Australian Accountant. Who wants a book that gets an accountant excited? ... ... No more to read here >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence is suggesting that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 90+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read. However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ... MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
... ... No more to read here >> |
What excuse have you to offer for a man who seeks to have bookcases of citrus-wood and ivory, who collects the works of unknown or discredited authors and sits yawning in the midst of so many thousand books, who gets most of his pleasure from the outsides of volumes and their titles? Seneca
Is there is a noise, tone, or sound that would cause the listener to defecate [not sic]? ...No more to read >>
Although not an extensive site, Antagonyms is an interesting listing of single words that are self-contradictory .... ...No more to read >>
Struggling authors should take note of the US$5 million advance paid to Michelle Paver, who re-wrote Wolf Brother as a children's book following the success of the Harry Potter series. Many thanks to Genealogy Today for the valuable assistance to patrons in providing them with the information to ask a librarian for help when in a library ... A nice story from the Guyra News, with a principal publicly thanking the school's teacher librarians for their work during Book Week. For those not familiar with Guyra, it is about 563 km north-north-east of Sydney and 427 km south-west of Brisbane with a population of 2000 ... Chuck Munson, who stated that he was "part of the radical librarian contingent" at the Republican convention, notes that there is potential for anarchy in Kansas ... The Comic Book vs Graphic Novel Naming Debate continues, with the Book Editor of the St. Petersburg Times splitting the difference with "Comics for Big People" ... Veers wins an award for catalog. Who cares? Film star Jennifer Garner really did say "... I was really into reading and writing. Sometimes I thought I wanted to be a librarian, sometimes an author" ... Has YOUR invitation to the grand opening of the Clinton Library arrived yet ...
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The entire rural community of Donnybrook turned out in force to hail their returning library heroes, after the 4 x 100 metadata tagging team returned in triumph.
Library staff who prefer to take an online quiz, rather than say scraping gum off chairs, or being the brunt of patron angst, or mopping up puke, or any of those other fun jobs that get in the way of your work, may have already tried Quizella.
As blood bank stocks fall to critically low levels, particularly in A+, O+ and O- types, the Australian Red Cross Blood Donor Service is calling on existing and new donors.
Here's a stumper to end all stumpers: what do professional journals have in common with books and listservs? They are all full of great ideas. (That's the answer to the stumper, not merely a flow-on sentence added to pad out the paragraph so it has some degree of design aesthetic in the browser display. Although it did that pretty well too. Which has now been spoiled by a completely irrelevant rant with no point at all. That's how it goes sometimes. Learn to live with it.)
Following the publication of the WLW Movie 
Described by the publishers, the Australian Library and Information Association, as "a classic Australian reference book", the fifth edition of the Australian dictionary of acronyms and abbreviations is one-third bigger than its predecessor, and contains explanations of more than 62,000 terms.
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services 
CONFERENCES: Past and future appearances by A.B. Credaro
ACADEMIA: There are more than 50 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET: Google now lists over 4,000 for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
