Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
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Head of Production:
Y.V. Dubow (Ms)
(Also provides pro bono and ad hoc legal counsel)
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
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LIBRARIANS MAY RIOT
Loss of access could lead to mayhem
Civil defence authorities, the National Guard, emergency response teams and the Association of Certified Practicing Accountants (ACPA) are gearing up for a possible day of protesting which might well be accompanied by some pretty nasty incidents.
As e-host announces that the Warrior Librarian website will may not be accessible between 11:00 p.m. on Saturday, November 6 and 5:00 a.m. on Sunday, November 7 (Eastern Time) due to rescheduled maintenance, the Warrior Librarian team announced that it had actually forgotten that there was any prior announcement, although it was possible that the original notification may have been deleted as suspected spam.
Although how this would involve any accountants is a complete mystery, even to us ...
...No more to read here >>
Library story may win journalism award
Canada's Brampton Guardian seems to be the first to break the story, with their potential Pulitzer Prize for Journalism headline, "There is lots going on at local libraries".
In the redoubtable international style of professional writers, the story opens with the dramatic "Due to the high demand and overwhelming success of its first English Conversation Circle held last month, Brampton Library and Inter-Cultural Neighbourhood Social Services (ICNSS) are joining to expand the service."
Continuing the use of highly emotive language, the article continues with "The English Conversation Circle will take place every Wednesday afternoon until December, from 2 to 3 p.m. in the program room at the South Fletcher's Branch, 500 Ray Lawson Blvd."
Considering the rapid pace of information dissemination in the 21st Century, it will only be a matter of hours before news services pick up this story for international distribution, and it starts its journey towards journalistic immortality ...
...No more to read here >>
Sticking the boot in
"Lady Nicotine" (not her real name, which won't surprise anyone) made yet another small stand for the individuality of librarians. In a recent documentary, presidential hopeful John Kerry was quoted as saying " ... if one person makes a small ripple, it sends out waves of hope to others - ultimately creating a current strong enough to create change ..."
Admittedly, Kerry wasn't talking about library dress codes, but that's not the point. Given how quotable the sentiment is, it seemed such a shame to have gone to the trouble of writing it down, and then not to have used it. But we may have digressed a little here. Again.
The staff at the library of The Literary and Philosophical Society of Newcastle upon Tyne are reported to normally to dress quite conservatively, although one librarian stated that " ... several of us have a shoe obsession! One of the girls who used to work here is a Goth. She's now gone off to run a collegiate library in Durham though ..."
...No more to read here >>
Texas board ostracizes Warrior Librarian
A series of spam-response messages has sparked off yet another ultimately futile set of communications. The Pasadena Independent School District's IT division may have configured their email filters carelessly, or possibly it's a matter of specifically blocking Warrior Librarian communications with its library staff.
The SpamAssassin report of the Pasadena ISD states that points were lost for punctuation and spelling (being too correct for standard email), and having the phrase "thank you" in the body of the text (although that was in the original sender's email, not added in the blocked reply). Perhaps most disconcerting was Biblia's discovery that her home email address was listed in the SORBS database. Whatever SORBS is, it's potent, irreversible, and secret. Apparently.
The Board of Trusties of Pasadena ISD (pictured) have yet to comment, and the IT division has not responded to either the polite, nor later the more pointed, requests for more information ...
...No more to read here >>
LANGUAGE USE AND ABUSE
Hyphen gets own print periodical
Following the phenomenal success of the Apostrophe Protection Society, the race is on - punctuation marks are refusing to be confined to the outskirts of language.
The formerly humble hyphen now has its own magazine. At the time of writing, the fifth issue has just been released, featuring stories on the anniversary of two seminal Asian American publications: Aiiieeeee! and The Joy Luck Club. Hyphen takes stock of the state of fiction. In addition, Lisa Ko writes about children's book authors speaking up.
However, before rushing headlong into yet another budgetary scuffle with the purse-string chokers by attempting to add this resource to your professional collection, you should note that Hyphen is has an Asian-American focus, and covers issues relating to culture. Other stories this issue include "An [sic] N.E.R.D. show prompts a public display of Asian-ness", "Hollywood's most enduring Asian American riffs on botox and kissing Dennis Quaid", and "Asian American drag kings center stage".
In the words of the almost immortal Dave Barry, we did not make this up. OK, we fabricated the part about the hyphen, but not the content of the magazine ...
...No more to read here >>
CNN fails to feature International School Library Day
Australian teacher librarian Barbara Braxton, the International Coordinator for the International School Library Day, has not yet commented on the failure of the mainstream media to cover this international event, from an international perspective - or even a local one.
CNN was not alone. USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, The Washington Post, New York Post, Chicago Tribune, The London Times, and the Sydney Morning Herald all failed to generate any online mention of either Barbara Braxton or International School Library Day.
One Canadian group (whose website appears to be down, but is at Google) appeared to be confused by the theme, or perhaps thought that "Linking Libraries, Literacy and Learning" was not bouncy enough and substituted their own theme. The International Coordinator of ISLD has also not commented publicly on that issue.
Even the otherwise highly reliable and informative Blacktown Guardian didn't report on the event. However, the News-Messenger of Ohio did include some coverage, even if it was under the heading of "Civil War expert bringing cannon replica to Expo today". Given that the profession could be suffering from Celebration Fatigue ...
...No more to read here >>
This latest addition to the WLW Corporate Library, via the remainders bin and one sibling, may be difficult to obtain. But it's well worth the trouble, even if you have to pay more than the WLW mates-rates pricing.
Joe Bennett's Fun Run, and other oxymorons, written by a New Zealand resident (which should cheer up the coresponding Kiwis, who say that WLW doesn't have enough NZ content), is a laugh-a-paragraph! Writing on topics as diverse as technology failure, tongue studs, and leaf-blowers, it may be a little male-gender oriented for some tastes, but if you can't find something in this collection of the author's published articles, there's something seriously wrong with you.
If you're not sure (about the extent of your humor impairment), you could take this test and try again later ...
... No more to read here >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 90+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.
However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...
MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...
ACADEMIA: There are more than 50 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET: Google now lists over 4,000 for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
... ... No more to read here >>
He had apparently no illusions, no passions and no predominantly great ideals. He had the offical manner, unperturbable and impenetrable, which would have made a fortune of an ambassador in Otto Bismarck's eyes.
Alfred Deakin in The Federal Story, published 1944.
The legal disclaimer of the Chaser News is definitely mandatory reading for those with a sense of humor ....
...No more to read >>
Congratulations to Margaret Holman, Black Forest Primary School (S.A.), who was named Australian Teacher Librarian of the Year 2004. Interesting (although not surprising), it appears that her principal/headmaster/site CEO wasn't quite sure of the correct title of the position ...
Has YOUR invitation to the grand opening of the Clinton Library arrived yet? Accomodation at Little Rock is booking out fast ...
2004: UN Slavery Abolition Year
2004: Year of the Built Environment (Australia)
October: Medical Librarians' Month
October: Listen To Your Inner Critic Month
October: Self-Promotion Month
October: National Toilet Tank Repair Month
October: National Liver Awareness Month (USA)
October: National Sarcastics Month (USA)
Oct 27: Cranky Co-Workers Day
Oct 28: Ochi Day (Cyprus and Greece)
Oct 29: International Internet Day
Oct 31: Halloween
Oct 31: National Knock-Knock Day
November: Birthdays of famous authors
November: American Diabetes Month, Aviation History Month, Diabetic Eye Disease Month, Epilepsy Awareness Month, Family Stories Month, I Am so Thankful Month, Lung Cancer Awareness Month, National Adoption Month, National AIDS Awareness Month, National Alzheimers Disease Month, National American Indian Heritage Month, National COPD Awareness Month (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), National Family Caregivers Month, National Hospice Month, National Lifewriting Month, National Marrow Awareness Month, Peanut Butter Lovers Month
Nov 1: All Saints Day
Nov 1: National Authors Day (US)
Nov 1-6: Diabetes Education Week
Nov 1-7: Medical Staff Services Week (US National)
Nov 2: Melbourne Cup Day (Australia)
Nov 2: All Souls' Day
Nov 2: Independence Day (Chechnya)
Nov 3: Cliché Day
Nov 5: Guy Fawkes Day (UK)
Nov 6: International End Gossip Day
Nov 7-13: Allied Health Professions Week (US National)
Nov 7-13: Health Information and Technology Week (US National)
Nov 7-13: Radiologic Technology Week (US National)
Nov 8-14: World Kindness Week
Nov 8 - Dec 8: National Jewish Book Month
Nov 9: National Young Readers Day (US)
Nov 11: Veterans' Day (US)
Nov 11: Rememberance Day (Canada)
Nov 11: Remembrance Day (Australia)
Nov 12: Diwali (Hindu Festival of Lights)
Nov 13: World Kindness Day
Nov 14: International Diabetes Day
Nov 14: Id al-Fitr (Muslim)
Nov 14: National Clean Out Your Fridge Day
Nov 14-20: American Education Week
Nov 14-20: Bladder Health Week
Nov 15-19: Lung Cancer Awareness Week
Nov 14-20: Perioperative Nurse Week
Nov 16: International Day of Tolerance (UNESCO)
Nov 19: Have a Bad Day Day
Nov 20: Universal Children's Day
Nov 20: Name Your PC Day
Nov 21: World Television Day (UNESCO)
Nov 25: Thanksgiving (US)
Nov 25: International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women
Nov 26: Day of the Covenant (Baha'i)
Nov 27: International Aura Awareness Day
Nov 28: Independence/Flag Day (Albania)
Nov 28: Independence from Spain Day (Panama)
Nov 28: Independence Day (Mauretania)
Nov 29: Electronic Greetings Day
Nov 30: Stay Home Because You Are Well Day
Nov 30: Computer Security Day
Saint's Feast Days
2003-2012: UN Literacy Decade
1997-2006: International Decade for the Eradication of Poverty
2001-2010: Decade to Roll Back Malaria in Developing Countries
2001-2010: Second International Decade for a Culture of Peace and Non-Violence for the Children of the World
2001-2010: Second International Decade for the Eradication of Colonialism