Do not attempt to read this journal whilst operating heavy machinery or prior to undergoing major surgery. It is not intended for younger readers, or those suffering from Humor Deficit Disorder. If you require any assistance in decoding the sub-text, you may need to consult a mental health-care professional.
Visit the WLW Online Store to get apparel, gifts, whatever. 100% money back guarentee. Not a bad deal.
Note: Don't bother leaving the URL of your porn site, your business or company (unless it's library-related) or any other crap - it will be deleted almost immediately.
Readers are invited to submit suggestions for Diversion of the Week, Website of the Week and other column features. Other newsworthy items are also welcomed, especially those accompanied by appropriate, copyright-free graphics.
When submitting items, please provide your contact details for verification purposes only. Also clearly state or show how you would like to be acknowledged (or if you wish to remain anonymous).
Head of Production:
Y.V. Dubow (Ms)
(Also provides pro bono and ad hoc legal counsel)
Note: The opinions expressed herein are solely those of the author. Any resemblance to real librarians (living or dead, or somewhere in between) or real libraries, may be a coincidence - but probably not.
Biblia, the Warrior Librarian, was created by A.B.Credaro. The practice of Warrior Librarianship is common, and therefore quite possibly in the public domain. As such, it is likely to be exempt from any copyright restrictions. However, this does not limit Warrior Librarian Weekly, its agents, employees, heirs, spouses, family pets, or others connected with the zine, from trying to make an easy buck from its use.
Universal permission is granted to any website to create a link to any page on this site. Notification of such links is appreciated, but not mandatory.
All material on this site was written by A.B. Credaro unless otherwise stated. Requests for permission to publish or circulate any content should be directed to same.
Patrons given too much information
Donnybrook Library is reassessing its publicity policy, following scores of complaints with noticeable decreases in both library user visits and circulation rates.
When the director first approved the "Entomology Epics" Week for the Science Series display, there was an assumption of butterflies or similarly patron-friendly focus. Despite an extensive search of memos and Oral Interaction Logs, it does not seem that the Order Psocoptera was specifically mentioned.
Local patrons claim that they were given too much information on Psocoptera, or more specifically booklice. The fact that these minute, soft-bodied, transparent to grayish-white insects about 1/32 to 3/16 inch (1 to 4 mm) long insects are known to crawl in large numbers over stored papers and books was apparently not helpful in boosting library use ....
...No more to read here >>
Lone protestor confuses bystanders
Following the announcement last week that the Warrior Librarian website may not be accessible between 11:00 p.m. on Saturday, November 6 and 5:00 a.m. on Sunday, November 7 (Eastern Time) due to maintenance by eHost, an anonymous warrior librarian appears to have taken the message to a broader audience.
Pedestrians and motorists alike seemed confused by the placard's message, not knowing what WLW stood for, or indeed who this 'Biblia' person might be.
In compliance with the well-known psychological phenomenon of Dumb Mob Mentality, a few automobile horns were heard. However, this may have been more concerned with pedestrians than the sign ....
...No more to read here >>
LIFE @ THE LIBRARY
Cranky Coworkers Day goes horribly wrong
A bitterly disappointed high school senior found that his local library appeared have completely ignored the recent international event, Cranky Coworkers' Day. Colin Grouchman fully expected that he'd receive at the very least a mild reproof for the ultra-late return of his overdue items, but was semi-traumatized by the friendly greeting and smile.
Grouchman stated that it was "cruel and unusual punishment" to withhold the expected reaction, against which he had been bracing himself for a number of weeks.
"It was like, you know, really weird. There were even posters around about how smiles are free and all that motivational stuff that's supposed to make you feel good about yourself. And it was like they, you know, the librarians there, didn't even have a display or any books out on being cranky and that."
"I sure hope they can do better next year ..."
...No more to read here >>
Following the news that the heirs of Margaret Mitchell have threatened court action concerning infringement of copyright for the electronic distribution of Gone with the Wind by Project Gutenberg, fears of copycat litigation are increasing.
Although preliminary enquiries recently revealed that the world's 'most published book' does not appear to have a valid copyright holder, it is possible that this could be challenged by around 2,015 million people, or approximately 33% of the world's population (2003 figures), in what may prove to be the biggest class action in the history of international jurisprudence ...
...No more to read here >>
Research skills pay off
Tuvalu National Library pulled out all stops in locating exactly the right focal point for their November library display.
November is Diabetes Month, Aviation History Month, Diabetic Eye Disease Month, Epilepsy Awareness Month, Family Stories Month, I Am so Thankful Month, Lung Cancer Awareness Month, National Adoption Month, National AIDS Awareness Month, National Alzheimers Disease Month, National American Indian Heritage Month, National COPD Awareness Month (Chronic obstructive pulmonary disease), National Family Caregivers Month, National Hospice Month, National Lifewriting Month, National Marrow Awareness Month, and Peanut Butter Lovers Month, amongst other things.
Therefore, the library needed to find a diabetic, epileptic American Indian with an aviation background who was suffering from Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, who could be released from his hospice to eat peanut butter whilst reading family stories on being thankful for those bone marrow transplant recipients who had adopted him in spite of the possibility of having contracted AIDS through a blood transfusion as an infant.
The star attraction had been undertaking a lifewriting project, but Alzheimers unfortunately ...
...No more to read here >>
Book sales becoming competitive
From Ireland to Iowa, in Russia and Reno, the international phenomenon of the library book sale is spreading around the globe. And it looks as though this Saturday will be the biggest on record for global community participation.
According to Marcia Stepanek, library webpage coordinator for the Citrus Springs Memorial Library, Donette Bergeson, volunteer at the Library, and Joan Bucher, Chairwoman of the Booksale (pictured), enlisted the help of the Citrus Springs Boy Scout Troop 462 in running the sale.
In what can only be described as a masterpiece of forward planning, Citrus Springs beat the November 6 rush by holding their sale back in March this year ...
...No more to read here >>
The latest addition to the WLW Corporate Home Library is a slightly tattered, but nevertheless free, poster of the movie Troy obtained from the local video hire establishment.
The obvious reaction is to use the poster as a centerpiece for a display of history books or realia. But deeper consideration suggests that it might also be suitable for the promotion of what is often referred to as Film As Text. Or, as we here at WLW prefer to say, Film As A Text Substitute.
Whilst the educational theorists, policy writers, and curriculum developers might believe that cinemagraphic experiences are a suitable medium for language development, the realists are still firmly committed to the fact that the development of reading skills is still heavily reliant on doing actual reading. Of text. What might be called Words Made Out of Letters. Call us old-fashioned or cynics (we've been called worse), but that's how we see it.
So the problem of how best to utilize the poster has been solved - it's now on the wall at Warrior Librarian Central ...
... No more to read here >>
MORE ORIGINAL HUMOR
Research has shown that the average librarian will take 10 to 15 minutes to read this web page. Anecdotal evidence suggests that many librarians fear they do not have enough time to investigate the humor links. The majority of the 90+ original library humor items (all written by Biblia, and not available anywhere else on the 'net) in the Humor Index are designed to take less than 2 minutes to read.
However, if you choose to hang around there for hours reading them all, then re-reading them, then WLW cannot take any responsibility. You now have the choice of using the genetically unmodified Alphabetical Index or the dolphin-safe Dewey Version. Caffeine-free version has been temporarily canned, pending an FDA investigation ...
MOST POPULAR BIBLIA PAGES TO DATE:
MASS MEDIA: Although Ingram Library Services Further Developments may not be a mass media publication, strictly speaking, at least they run a good story ...
ACADEMIA: There are more than 50 institutions that have a link to Warrior Librarian on their web sites, including the Tasmanian Department of Education ...
INTERNET: Google now lists over 4,000 for a search on the phrase "warrior librarian". Not that we check regularly or anything ...
FROM THE MAILBOX: Many thanks to all those organizations and individuals who continue to offer us cheap valium. We didn't realize that the need was so obvious ...
... ... No more to read here >>
I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false assumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge.
Thanks to Scout for bringing our attention to OneLook Reverse Dictionary, where you can find "what's the word that means ..."
...No more to read >>
Australia: Public library members have helped deliver almost $17 million in Commonwealth cash to Australia's favourite authors. The Federal Government reimburses Australian authors, illustrators and publishers whose works are held in public libraries for loss of sales when readers borrow their books ...
UK: LILAC 2005 (Librarians Information Literacy Annual Conference) to be held in London in April 2005 has issued a call for papers ....
N.Z.: Now that the library book scam has been broken up, the perps are in custody - claiming that they only stole the books to support their baby. They didn't apply for unemployment benefits as they were wanted by police on other charges including intimidation and threatening to kill ...
India: Ahmad Rashid Shervani, chairman of Bharat Sewa Trust and a member of the National Commission for Minorities, notes that some school libraries have not added a book to their collection in 10 years. Meanwhile over at the Delhi Gymkhana Club, "cabinet ministers, business leaders and prominent intellectuals wallow in traditions any Edwardian gentleman would understand: leisurely card games, reading in the book-filled library, whiskies sipped among friends" ...
Japanese Manga: According to their press release, "TOKYOPOP Inc., the #1 leading manga publisher outside of Japan proudly introduces an all-new must-read series entitled Sokora Refugees, colonizing bookstores everywhere in April 2005. Sokora Refugees is a spectacularly addicting [sic] fanservice extravaganza featuring nymphs, elves, goyles, vampires, and a notoriously lazy heroine ..."
Amazon Books is currently bundling with Bill Barnes and Gene Ambaum's What Would Dewey Do (for an amazingly low price of US$35.47 and free USA shipping), which means there is still some stock of BGTWL around ...
Has YOUR invitation to the grand opening of the Clinton Library arrived yet? Accommodation at Little Rock is booking out fast ...
Nov 1: Read A Book With a Yellow Cover Day
Nov 2: International Day for Release of Repressed Emoticons
Nov 3: Melville Dewey Joke Day
Nov 4: Wear Your Clothes Backwards Day
Nov 5: Caffeine Addiction Awareness Day
Nov 6: Transgender Puzzlebook Day
Nov 7: Archive Storage Vermin Feeding Day
Nov 8: Remove a Patron's Body Jewelry Day
Nov 9: Tell Someone Their Breath Stinks Day
Nov 10: National Leave Work at Finishing Time Day
Nov 11: Pretend to read an Upside-Down Book Day
Nov 12: Tip Paint Over a Cellphone User Day
Nov 13: Pointless Conversation Day
Nov 14: National Roadkill Kindness Day
Nov 15: Internet-Free Pull-the-Plug Day
Nov 16: Epidermiology Journals Celebration Day
Nov 17: Give a Puppy to an Unattended Child Day
Nov 19: International Delete Everything from Your e-Mail Box Day
Nov 19: Scribble on a Graffittoist Day
Nov 20: Narolepsy Pride Day
Nov 22: International 394.2 Celebration Day
Nov 23: Lose the Plot Day
Nov 24: National Act Surprised at Getting an Email Virus Day
Nov 25: Celebration-Free Celebration Day
Nov 26: Laugh Histerically at Every Reference Question Day
Nov 27: Sit Down for 10 Minutes Day
Nov 28: International Format C:/ Day
Nov 29: Take a Poem to Lunch Day
Nov 30: Catch Your Breath Day
Saint's Feast Days
Birthdays of famous authors
U.N. Special Events