In declaring 2005 the official Year of Microbudgeting, the United Nations is promoting the use of minimal funds to achieve maximum outcomes. This follows the example provided by instrumentalities providing miniscule financial support to libraries globally.

Referring to 'microentrepreneurs', the U.N. (and library funders) seeks to draw on the " ... powerful, but often untapped, entrepreneurial spirit …”. Nancy Barry, President, Women's World Banking stated that "Microfinance needs to be viewed not as some cute and adorable thing ... it needs to be seen and treated as the base and backbone of financial systems."

Despite a thorough search through numerous mental asylums, there have not been any instances of librarians who consider small budgets either cute, or adorable ...

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A shortage of Catalog Police may be a contributing factor to the groundswell of insurgency, as the Ohio Library's Technical Services Division continues to promote anarchy in the dark, quiet, back rooms of libraries around the world.

In announcing their sponsorship of the DEWEYERROR list, a new electronic distribution list that will alert members to suspected errors in Dewey numbers in LC records, the OLTSD incites all libraries not to blindly accept the dictates of Library of Congress (LC) catalog records without checking. Errors have been found.

Fianna Holt, Technical Services Librarian at Albright College (Reading, PA), is reported to have stated that Discover your strengths by Marcus Buckingham was "clearly misclassified" and reports that she has no hesitation in changing the record.

Whilst hesitant to promote sedition, WLW notes that the chances of the Catalog Police taking punitive action are very unlikely ...

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Librarians globally are noticing the increase in the number of library users who are sporting Von Dutch tees, caps, tote bags, jeans, shoes, and brains, particularly amongst the young adults with an apparently high disposable income.

To date, there does not appear to be any level of awareness that Kenneth Howard, aka Von Dutch, was an alcoholic, violent, racist, neo-Nazi, who finalized one of his last communications with “heil Hitler”. These descriptions come from his admirers. He was also paranoid and carried a gun, and once shot a man for no reason other than the fact that he was from Cleveland. The overly-funded youth who continue to purchase the overpriced merchandise may not realize that Howard achieved fame through scribbling on motor bikes and other motorized transport.

It appears that Howard may have become the new cult leader for a cult that isn’t actually even aware of what they are promoting …

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Seattle's new Central Library is one of 13 buildings to receive 2005 Honor Awards for Outstanding Architecture from the American Institute of Architects, and was also named as Time magazine's outstanding building of 2004.

In other parts of the libraryscape, many fully qualified and highly experienced library folk are working in conditions that wouldn't be tolerated in a First World modern correctional facility. Leaking roofs, lack of climate control, not to mention the typical worn and depressing carpet.

However, people working in older libraries can take heart from the fact that the standard color scheme based around Diarrhea Brown and Cadaver Beige is no barrier to winning awards...

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Wordsmiths are reported to have been working around the clock to find an alternative to "only going part-way hog", rather than "going the whole hog".

With the identity of the timepiece yet to be confirmed, the alleged clock (around which the wordsmiths are working) is calculated to be of enormous proportions, in order to accommodate the vast number of language experts that are encircling it. Google returns over 11 million hits for 'language experts'.

Also undetermined at this stage is the work practice model being used, which will ultimately also effect the size of the timepiece. The smallest area would be required for the highly effective Brainstorming model. The largest would be required if all working on the project were incarcerated in the cheap, although psychologically damaging and goal-achievement-minimizing, practise of cubicalization ....

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Author, editor and compiler Jon Winokur notes:

1.archaic: a crusty, ill-tempered churlish old man.

2.modern: anyone who hates hypocrisy and pretense and has the temerity to say so; anyone with the habit of pointing out unpleasant facts in an engaging and humorous manner.

Many of the greatest minds in the ancient world, and ever since, have been labeled as unpleasant, undesirable, obnoxious, or objectionable due to their uncompromising refusal to blithely wandering about, prattling on about how wonderful and perfect everything is ...

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With most library staff now back from leave, it is apparently mandatory for publications such as this to welcome everyone back, with an accompanying singing of the praises of meaningful employment, contribution to society, and a counterpoint concerning the joys of meeting the challenges of the New Year.

Sadly, as the consensus is (apparently) that, in the interests of those with even a modicum of musical appreciation, I should refrain from singing.... ...

Is your library manager a saint or a sinner - or something in between? Now you can use the exclusive WLW ratings chart, without any fear of retribution.

Peter Lewis has kindly provided this online activity exclusively to Warrior Librarian readers (which I think might have been mentioned). And yes, we know you can't read the writing on the graphic here. It was an attempt to fill the space with something appropriate ...

Rate Your Boss HERE >>

It takes a special talent to be 'in the poop' at work, when you aren't even actually at work. In the latest of a series of articles (published in peer-reviewed and refereed journals) on the topic of globally falling literacy levels, and the politicization of this issue, A.B. Credaro has seriously put a few noses out of joint. Apparently.

Notably, there is no disagreement on the facts quoted nor the sources cited. The major dissention rests squarely on the identification of A.B. Credaro's place of primary employment, as part of her professional signature. And what will the final outcome be? ...

The latest update (last item here) >>

"Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense."

Benjamin Disraeli

Maybe not as witty or repeatable as the above, some stuff by the Warrior Librarian occasionally gets quoted ...

In-house quotations >>>

Despite the number of 'really cool' shows on cable TV, the entire population of Warrior Librarian Central (WLC) were recently forcibly acculturated by mandatory exposure to the world acclaimed stage production of “The Lion King”.

Interestingly, but not surprisingly, a 7am thunderstorm that awoke the youngest members of the WLC population four hours early resulted in multiple manifestations of innate surliness typical of the sleep-deprived. The storm also knocked out the electrical power here at WLC, before any infusion of caffeine was possible for the resident adults. Which didn't help their mood either.

Following all the precepts of Murphy's Laws, the local breakfast buffet (sumptuous, reasonably priced, and usually deserted) was packed out with thousands of other local residents with the same idea. (Although it was our idea first. Almost certainly.) This plan for early sustenance was replaced with a less than splendid repast at the local railway snack bar. Note: lukewarm coffee and rock-hard pastries do not a breakfast make.

Anticipating the travel needs of the WLC beau monde, City Rail had secretly scheduled track work on the main line - just for this particular day. The thoughtfully provided substitute omnibuses did eventually deliver the group to a similar, though not identical, destination to that required.

"The Lion King" itself was excellent, so it would probably be churlish to mention the fat-headed gentleman in the row in front, who kept squirming around in order to block the view for the maximum possible number of people. Can people go on a head-reduction diet? Perhaps in the due fullness of time, forgiveness may be granted to the elderly fellow in the row behind who kept kicking the seat. At this stage though, he may count himself lucky that there was no vat of acid concealed about any of the affected personages.

The child whistling at random in to the left, two rows back, now has his name on the list being compiled of those who are to be left on a windswept crag next time one becomes available.

With tickets at $97.50 each (multiplied by five for each of the WLC denizens), plus another $100 odd in incidentals, the show was still well worth the expense. This was confirmed on arrival back at WLC.

Grouchman, when pushed against a wall with an Uzi up his nose, eventually conceded that the show ‘wasn’t too bad’. Ratouling Middle-School, when asked her opinion, stated “whatever”. Moostang Pearshon's view was that it was better than she thought it would be, although would have been much greatly enhanced by a visit to McDonalds on the way home. 2-I-C became so rapidly and thoroughly engrossed in a sports show on cable that it wasn't possible to obtain any meaningful assessment - although much thanks were given that the snoring was kept out of the public theatre and contained within the confines of WLC. So the preceding weeks of threats, implorations and entreaties were well worthwhile.

However, the Warrior Librarian herself REALLY did enjoy the show. She stated that despite the overwhelming enthusiasm of the in-house haut monde, next time she will go alone ....

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